Looking Back As A Homeschooling Parent of 31 Years

Looking back as a homeschooling parent of 31 years, I am feeling kind of introspective. As I pondered just a few things I realized that time gives you a new perspective. There are definitely things I’d do differently if I had the chance – not big regrets, but little changes I can see more clearly now. It’s easy to look back and think, “I wish I had….”

But it’s also fun to look back as a homeschooling parent and be able to say, “I’m glad I did….”

Both are part of the journey, and the reflections provide valuable insight that I can pass on to others who are still on their homeschool journey.

Looking back as a homeschooling parent, if I had it to do over again:

1. I would say yes more often.

To be honest, I was tired and frazzled with homeschooling eight kids. That made it easy for me to quickly say “no” to a request that might mean extra work for me or a little bit of inconvenience. I had to work on this, and learn to take my time before replying to requests. I began to ask if there was really a good reason I couldn’t say “yes.”

The smiles on my kids’ faces and their delight in some of those slightly messy or inconvenient activities, are still some of my favorite memories today.

2. I would smile and laugh more rather than be so intense.

It is easy to get so focused on “getting it all done” and checking everything off the list. As a result, we are impatient and stressed. In our rush to get things done, we miss moments to encourage our kids about the effort they made or the improvement they have shown. Sometimes, they want to tell us a little about what they are learning, but we are in a hurry to move on to the next thing. This causes us to miss out on opportunities to build relationships.

3. I would try to be less idealistic and more realistic in my expectations.

I wish I had learned this earlier in my homeschooling, as it would have saved me much frustration. Being realistic in your expectations about what you can accomplish and what your kids are capable of is key to avoiding burnout. Know your limits, as well as your kids’ abilities, and things will be much less stressful in your homeschool.

4. I would have kept “tucking” my kids in and praying with them at night into and through the teen years.

I realize, looking back, that some of the best conversations I had with my kids over the years were when I was “tucking them into bed” or talking/listening and praying with them before they went to sleep. Often, that was when my kids felt free to share what was on their heart, expressing needs or concerns. Just because they become teens doesn’t mean they don’t need those one-on-one times at the end of the day.

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Even though you’re tired and want nothing more than to get everyone to bed so you can relax or get a few things done, cherish those bedtime moments and make the most of them! They will help you win and keep your child’s heart.

5. I would work more on training the difficult child.

It was easier to default to asking a more compliant child for help so I could “avoid the hassle” of dealing with the difficult one. Yes, dealing with a difficult child can be exhausting, but looking back, I would work more with the difficult child. God reminded me one day that while that may have been “easier” at the time, it wasn’t fair to either child.

The more compliant one shouldn’t be asked to do something simply because he will be more willing. On the other hand, the difficult child needs to be trained to respond correctly, and by asking a sibling to do the tasks, you miss an opportunity to work with the challenging one.

6. I would not compare myself to other homeschooling moms or moms in general.

As moms, it is so easy to fall into the comparison trap. We look at other moms who seem to have it all together or homeschooling moms who seem to “do it all.” We then feel like we are failing, wondering why we can’t be like them or do things like they do. The truth is all moms have their struggles, even though they may appear to have it more together than you do. Also, we all have different situations and need to do what is best for our family rather than what works for someone else.

7. I would judge my homeschooling success more on how much my children have learned wisdom rather than on whether they were “caught up” for their age/grade level.

While we need to give our kids a strong academic education, that shouldn’t be our top priority. We must remember that it is much more important to help them grow in wisdom and Godly character. That is what will truly determine their success in life. If they are “behind” for their age but are growing in wisdom, you are accomplishing what matters the most.

Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes... in You and Your Kids Passionate Parenting: Enjoying the Journey of Parenting Teens Solving A Crisis in Christian Parenting: Why so many prodigals?[(Child Training Tips : What I Wish I Knew When My Children Were Young)] [By (author) Reb Bradley] published on (August, 2014)

8. I would remember that the time I spend daily teaching, training, and caring for the children, my husband, and our home is more important than anything I didn’t accomplish on my “to-do” list.

There were days when I felt discouraged because I “didn’t get anything done.” But in reality, I had spent the day fulfilling my God-given responsibilities and building relationships. The training I did counted for eternity, which was so much more important than those things on my list that I didn’t get to.

Looking back as a homeschooling parent, I’m glad I did these things and would do them again:

1. Homeschool all the kids all the way through grade 12.

While it wasn’t always easy, and there were days of frustration, I would definitely homeschool my kids again! While I was in the midst of it, I felt that maybe I wasn’t doing a great job, or was even failing. But now that my kids are adults, I know that’s not true, and homeschooling was the best thing I could do for them.

2. Spend a lot of time on Scripture memory, and character training with them.

Building my kids’ faith by helping them memorize God’s Word and training them in Godly character prepared them to be what God wanted them to be. It gave them a solid foundation for their faith.

3. Give up a good-paying secular job to stay home and raise my children, and spend every day with them.

Yes, we had to be careful with our finances, and we didn’t have money for a lot of extra things. But we never went without our needs being met. God proved himself faithful and blessed us many times over. This was a great testimony to our children that God will provide, and we can trust Him.

4. Correct the children with Scripture when wrong behavior was shown.

This was one of the best ways that we were able to get God’s Word into the hearts and minds of our kids. When they needed correction and training, we taught them what God said and what was pleasing to Him. They knew that our rules were based on living a life of obedience to God and His Word.

5. Seek Godly wisdom and counsel from those who are older and wiser.

I wouldn’t have made it through my early years of homeschooling without the Godly mentors that God gave me. Having someone to glean wisdom from who had years of experience was such a blessing and help to me.

The homeschooling days may seem long, but trust me when I tell you that the years go by fast! Make the most of your homeschooling years!

More Homeschooling Encouragement

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