Are you ever an over-reactive mom, who finds yourself over-reacting to situations with your kids? Perhaps even jumping to conclusions, getting easily frustrated, or just assuming the worst? Sad to say, this is my 33rd year of parenting, and at times I am still an over-reactive mom. And while I’m confessing my ability to over-react, I’ll just add to it that flexibility isn’t my strong point either!
I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say that recently I majorly over-reacted when a change in one of my children’s plans, affected MY own plans. Due to her change of plans, I had to cancel an appointment at the last minute that we had waited for, and we now have to wait again for an open appointment. (To her credit, her work schedule was changed; this wasn’t just HER choice to upset things!)
I was huffing and puffing at her about it, and generally not being very kind outwardly. Inwardly I was trying to find solutions that would let us work around the scheduling conflict. She went to her room to get away from my grumbling, stressed disposition. Then I realized how much I was letting myself get worked up about something that couldn’t be helped, and really WASN’T the end of the world!
I told her I was sorry for getting mad at her, and taking it out on her when she had done nothing wrong. She responded with grace, forgiveness, and chocolate! (She knows the key to defusing my stress!)
Have you been guilty of being an over-reactive mom? Do you struggle with this?
When you find yourself over-reacting STOP AND ASK:
Is this situation really worth getting upset about? Does getting upset help, or would it be better to use that energy to think through solutions?
Then remind yourself that:
1. No matter what, it is NOT right to take it out on the kids!
2. You need to control your emotions and responses.
3. You should apologize, if needed!
4. Your kids are watching your reactions, and will copy them when facing their own stressful situations.
Are you guilty of over-reacting in your parenting? Don’t get discouraged when you do this! Work on it, and when you mess up remember that we will never be perfect parents, and we WILL make mistakes.
It is our mistakes that keep us depending on the Lord, and that’s something we want to always do! Let your mistakes keep you relying on God.
9 Responses
You are doing the right thing by apologizing, and reminding them that you need Jesus! What a great lesson that teaches them. Don’t give up, but at the same time don’t worry that you are ruining your kids! When they see your sincere desire to please God and seek His help, along with your apology, they will be ok!
I can relate. I’m an easily stressed out mom to 4 kids. My oldest is 11 years old and I thought by now I would have been done with this tendency! I feel bad for my kids when I over-react. I often worry I’ve ruined them. I seek the Lord all the time on this, yet still mess up! I do often apologize and tell them that’s why I need Jesus!! I’m not giving up trying to overcome this, I’m just tired of setting a bad example!! Thank you very much for this post. It helps that you are a veteran mom and homeschooler! I appreciate the down to earth posts you have.
Laurie, I know what you mean. I wouldn’t be such an over-reactive Mom if life was stress free! lol ~Kathie
Jes, yes God knew what women would need when He created the cocoa plant! 😉 Thanks for hosting the link up. I added the post to it, and enjoyed browsing your site a little! ~Kathie
Unfortunately, sometimes… I have learned to say I am sorry and am grateful for a gracious daughter! And why is it that chocolate always helps? God sure knew what he was doing when He created that cocoa plant! I found you on Monday Musings. We also have a Monday link up if you would like to join us 🙂 Have a wonderful week~ JES
Guilty! It definitely ebbs and flows for me depending on what is going on in my life. If I’m stressed about something in general, little things tend to make me over react… totally unfair for the kids, and my poor husband. It’s definitely something that I’m working on.
Christen, I’d say most of us would say we have been guilty of this, if we are being honest with ourselves. Confession is good for the soul, right?! 🙂 ~Kathie
Guilty as charged.
I’m in my thirteenth year parenting and am a bit more patient each year. I find still though that I overreact usually to silly things. I have started asking my children to go into the other room if I need a minute or two to think through appropriate consequences or just to assess whether or not its really worth getting upset over in the first place.
Nice post. Good reminder.