Effective Rules and Consequence Ideas for Christian Families

Warren Bennis says, “Successful leadership is not about being tough or soft, sensitive or assertive, but about a set of attributes. First and foremost is character.”

When it comes to parenting, especially in Christian families, building character is essential. Especially if you want them to grow up to lead for Jesus and influence others to follow God. It helps ensure that your rules and consequence ideas are rooted in biblical principles, guiding your children to grow in faith and wisdom.

Today, I’m excited to share two ideas that help with discipline and incorporate character building as a foundation in your homeschool and child-rearing, in a fun and impactful way.

Let’s start with a familiar scenario:

Like many parents, I used to hear my kids arguing in their bedroom. As I walked toward them, I’d think, “What am I going to do this time?” I had no plan and often forgot to involve God in the situation. That changed when I started using Bible verses to build character into our everyday rules and consequences.

Here are two rules and consequence ideas for Christian families that have made a real difference in our home:

Character Building Post-It Party

One simple way to incorporate both rules and consequence ideas in Christian families is with a Post-It Party. This fun, hands-on activity helps you set clear expectations for your children while building character.

How It Works:

Grab a pad of sticky notes and use one note for each child.
Write one character quality you want to work on with each child (e.g., honesty, patience). Write that character quality at the top of an individual sticky note.
Next, it’s time to go to the Bible to see what God says about building that character quality. Look for a verse that talks about God’s view of that character quality. and write it down.
Finally, write down a blessing for obedience and a consequence for disobedience related to that trait. The image below is missing this part, but you get the idea.

Talk to each child individually

Once you have all your sticky notes filled out, talk to each child individually. Discuss the character quality and what God has to say about that character quality. Make sure they understand what will happen when they obey or disobey God. This takes the pressure off your shoulders and puts it on God’s shoulders. He is big enough to handle it.

Put your Post-its on the refrigerator after you discuss it with each child. This puts it front and center for the whole family to see what will happen with different types of behavior. By using rules and consequences tied directly to Scripture, you’ll find that discipline becomes more about teaching than punishing. And God’s Word becomes the authority in your home.

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Look for the Positive Daily

This next idea focuses on the positive reinforcement aspect of rules and consequences in Christian families. I highly encourage you to look every day for the positive behavior listed on each sticky note. Why?

On average, children hear 432 negative words a day and only 32 positive words a day. This definitely impacts children as they grow up. They model what they hear, which would be negativity, according to these statistics.

You don’t want to falsely build them up, but you can look for times to bless your children when they are exhibiting a positive character quality.

Here’s How:

Keep the sticky notes from the Post-It Party on the refrigerator or somewhere visible.
Every day, watch for moments when your child displays the godly character you’re teaching. When you see it, bless them with the blessing on your sticky note.
On the other hand, when they disobey God, take them to the sticky note, read the Bible verse together, and ask them what God says about their character. They let them read the consequence your family chose.

By doing this, your kids will see the direct connection between their behavior, God’s Word, and the rules and consequences you’ve set as a family. This is one of the best rules and consequence ideas for Christian families because it helps to redirect both your emotions and theirs to what God says about their behavior.

Memorize & Pray

To take these character-building rules and consequences even further, incorporate Scripture memorization and prayer into your family routine. Each child writes their verse on an index card and keeps it on the breakfast table. Every morning at breakfast, they read the verse aloud. If they continue to do this every day for a month, they will have that verse memorized.

Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes... in You and Your Kids Passionate Parenting: Enjoying the Journey of Parenting Teens Solving A Crisis in Christian Parenting: Why so many prodigals?[(Child Training Tips : What I Wish I Knew When My Children Were Young)] [By (author) Reb Bradley] published on (August, 2014)

Even after they have it memorized, your child should say it aloud during breakfast.

At the end of breakfast, pray the verse to God, asking Him to give each child the strength to obey Him. This can be done in a couple of ways.

- Parent prays for each child, including the verse

- Go around the table. Let each child pray for obedience and say the verse to God

If breakfast isn’t the best time, choose another meal. You probably eat 3 meals a day, so tie the memorize & pray process to a habit you already have … eating daily meals.

Our Character Training Tool Kit offers prepared resources to follow these ideas. To help you get started, I’ll send you a FREE Character Training Mini Chart.

All you need to do is download it. Print it. Write the blessing and consequence for being honest or lying.

The beauty of using God’s Word to build character is that it takes the burden off of you as the parent to always come up with the right words or responses. Instead, you let God’s Word direct the conversation. This not only diffuses your own anger or frustration in the heat of the moment but also teaches your children that God’s authority is above all.

When your children memorize and pray through Scripture, the rules of Dad and Mom become the rules of God. And trust me, that is the ultimate goal of any rules and consequence system in Christian families.

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Kerry Beck helps you get past the perfect Instagram image & move on to real life ways to raise your kids to lead, instead of follow. She offers practical tips to encourage your kids to love learning, think critically & influence those around them as adults. She inspires moms with her personal & spiritual stories of moving from overwhelmed to peace & resting in God.

Kerry homeschooled her three (now adult) children for 10 years. She has a free homeschooling ebook for you here: How to Homeschool My Child

You can connect with Kerry at any of these places:

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