All parents want to be successful, but parenting is HARD, and having our kids “turn out good” today is challenging! The best place to start is by looking at the characteristics of successful parents that you have observed, and learning from them.
My husband and I wanted to do our best to raise our kids to love the Lord, and be prepared to serve Him when they grew up. We wanted them to have good, strong Christian character, and be prepared for life. So we spent time watching Godly parents that we looked up to, and spent time asking them questions as well.
We felt the parents were doing an awesome job, and it was reflected in their kids over the years. I want to share some of the things I noticed these parents did, that I think were key to their success.
1. The loved God with all of their heart.
Their lives, not just their words, showed it. As a result, their children had a hunger for God, and developed a heart for Him. Their kids didn’t just go through the motions, but developed their own personal walk with the Lord.
We need to teach our children about God, encourage them to love Him and His Word, and to follow Him. However, we can’t force their hearts.
Our own burning passion for the things of God, and for pleasing Him, will inspire a similiar desire in our kids.
2. They weren’t too proud to seek advice and counsel.
Sometimes as parents, we are embarrassed when we are struggling with our children. We feel it’s because we’re doing something wrong, or we’re failing. We don’t want other people to know that our kids are doing certain things, because it will reflect back on our parenting, and make us look bad.
The truth is that most parents go through times with their children, and probably more so with their teens, where they face challenges.
The wise parent will seek Godly counsel. Talk to other parents who have raised good kids, and above all, seek counsel from your pastor.
My husband and I have gone to our pastor many, many times for counsel and guidance about how to handle different situations that have come up with our kids. I think this is so important, because sometimes we are so close to it, that it’s very hard to see the whole picture clearly.
Getting someone else’s perspective is always good.
I have a dear friend, full of wisdom, who was a pastor’s wife for many years. She was my “go to” person, when I was just not sure what to think, or how to handle something. She was always able to help me put things in perspective. All of us need people like that in our lives!
Parenting is too big of a responsibility for us to try to handle on our own. Seek wisdom!
It’s also very wise to read good books about parenting. Even when I was down to my last child at home, my 15 year old son, I still read things on parenting teens, despite having been through it 7 times alreadt! I needed reminders, and encouragement.
Don’t ever allow yourself to get to the place in your parenting where you feel like you have arrived, and have it all under control. God entrusted you with the job, so keep growing and learning in order to be the best parent you can be!
3. They had rules that were consistently enforced.
A good home must have rules, and the parents need to stay diligent about being consistent with the rules.
I certainly think we can over do and make everything focus on behavior, and looking right. However, rules help our children be more secure and boundaries make them feel loved.
Make sure you explain that your family rules are from God’s Word. God tells children to obey their parents; God says to be kind, not to lie, etc.
Always have a Bible basis for your rules, and when the kids break the rules, take them back to God’s Word and show them why it’s so important to live the way God says to. Let them know that is the pathway to God’s blessing.
Consistency is probably one of the hardest parts of parenting, but it’s so important. It’s not fair to have rules that are enforced randomly, rather than regularly.
4. They consistently prayed for their children daily.
If you aren’t already doing so, make a commitment to pray for your kids DAILY. Then let them KNOW you are praying for them! That lets them know you care, and it also lets them know that God is involved. This will keep their hearts softer when He convicts them.
I always tell parents that we need to work as though it all depends on us, but pray as though it all depends on Him! Praying consistently is probably one of the most IMPORTANT characteristics of successful parents!
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Karan, that is great that you pray for your children daily, and pray with the youngest often. Like you said, there is power in prayer! Glad the post was encouraging to you!
I pray over the children that God has entrusted me with daily after they have been asleep. I pray with the youngest because he is with me most always. Wealso pray together as a family at dinner. Our lives are hectic and I wish I could find time to have everyone pray together. I believe in the power of prayer and the more we pray for each other the more strength and belief we have that we can do all things through Christ,
Thanks for the words of encouragement. Asking for help and guidance is not always easy to do. I have learned that the hard way.
And, of course, reading a blog post such as this can be an element of seeking wise counsel as well. Thanks for all you do.
I featured you over at WholeHearted Home and thought you might want to stop by to check it out. Also it is WholeHearted Home Wednesday again!!
I'm honored you linked up to Sharing the Shelter. Excellent steps to successful parenting.
Great advice! Consistancy is a huge element of successful parenting, but it is hard to carry out. By the way, your daughters are beautiful. Thanks for sharing at Mom's Library!
Thanks for these words of wisdom! Looking forward to seeing what you say tomorrow. I found you on the The Better Mom blog hop.
What a great list of advice! I truly believe that prayer, and advice from those that have gone on before are wonderful ways to help with raising kiddos! Thank you for sharing and linking up! Blessings!
This is so good and something I need to be reminded of. I really need to read another parenting book. Thank you for reminding me that my job isn't done. It is so different at this end of parenting.
Thank you for linking up these two excellent posts on parenting over at WholeHearted Home this week. If you hadn't linked them up, I wouldn't have found them. Although most things are going smoothy, you have reminded me of some things that will be so helpful. Please keep linking up, I need it as much as anyone else 🙂
Ugochi, in my opinion, just realizing there are areas where you need improvement is a sign that god is helping you be a better parent to your children, and child of His. I we are growing in Him, as we improve in one area, He will bring something else to our attention that we need to work on. I am thankful when that happens, because it means He's still working in my heart, and I'm hearing Him speak to me.
Gail, it's funny that you mentioned that. I had thought about putting a little blurb in my post about the fact that we will not answer to God for how our children turn out, but for how well we did our job in raising and training them. Our kids do have a free will, and therefore some (who have had the "best" upbringing) may still choose to walk away from what they've been taught, and how they've been raised.
I pray every day for God to make me a better parent to my chidren as He makes me a better daughter to Him. I know I need a huge improvement in the last number, but I am working on it, God is helping me. Thanks again for sharing, visiting from Teach Me Tuesdays. Have a suoer blessed day!
These are all great elements of parenting.
As a former homeschool mom, now a grandmother, the one thing I've come to see a little differently is the way we measure our success as parents.
I used to think it was based on how our children turned out. Then I realized that the Bible is full of examples of godly people who had ungodly children as well as ungodly people who had godly children. And in life, I've personally known very godly parents who did all the right things and had chlldren who chose ungodly paths.
We are responsible to God for the way we parent, and that's why it's good for us to learn the type of things you share in this post. But we are not responsible for our adult children's choices in life.
I just wanted to add that thought about the true meaning of success in parenting.
Thanks for this great post.
Blessings, Gail