Recently, I was talking with my oldest son Mike, a missionary in the Philippines. During our conversation, he reminded me of something I already knew — but needed to hear again. He reminded me of the powerful influence of a father.
He had taken time to reflect on his childhood and the deep impact his dad had on his life. And as I read through his sermon notes, I was struck by how powerful and lasting that fatherly influence truly was. It’s a reminder for all of us — especially in today’s distracted and busy world — that a father’s role is one of immense influence and eternal value.
Why Is a Father’s Influence So Powerful?
One of the most commonly searched questions is: Why does a father’s influence matter so much? The answer is simple: kids naturally imitate the people they’re closest to. That’s why time, presence, and relationship are so important.
In Mike’s words:
“Anyone who knows my father well could recognize that I am his son without ever being told. I think it would be fair to make the statement, If you’ve seen Mike, you’ve seen Mike’s father. If you know Mike, you know Mike’s father. If you know how Mike would respond in a certain situation, you know how Mike’s father would respond in that same situation. We are the same in many ways.”
This is the powerful influence of a father. It’s not just biological. It’s relational. It comes from time spent together, day in and day out — through teaching, modeling, and simply being present.
A Father’s Presence Shapes a Child’s Identity
Children soak up so much more than we realize. As parents, we often focus on what we say, but it’s what we model that truly shapes their hearts. For dads especially, the influence they carry is weighty. A father can influence how a child sees:
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Their own identity
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Their view of authority
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Their confidence
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Their understanding of God as Father
Mike stated:
It is only natural that the question should be raised, “Why is it that I am so much like my father?” Is it just part of the Morrissey DNA? Is it because something magical happened when “Morrissey” was printed on my birth certificate?”
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Mike didn’t become like his dad because of genetics alone. He became like him because he spent time with him. He shared his thoughts, values, priorities, and passions — and those things stuck.
Certainly, there are traits that were passed down to me by my father, but I don’t believe that is the reason that I am so much like him. I am like my father not just because he is my father. It’s because I spent lots of time with him, and he powerfully influenced me in every area of life. Because I spent time with him, he influenced my thinking and developed the way I look at life.
The closer I got to my father, the more I began to think like him.
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- What was important to him became important to me.
- The things that were exciting to him became exciting to me.
- The things that made him angry began to make me angry.
- What he thought was funny became funny to me.
- His desires became my desires. His passions became my passions.
As I grew older, the closer I got to my father, the more I thought like him, and the more that I thought like him, the more I acted like him.
Hey Mike, why are you so much like your dad? I spent time with him and ….
- His thoughts became my thoughts.
- His dreams became my dreams.
- I began to love the things he loved.
- The things he hated, I began to hate.
- His priorities became my priorities.
If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen my father.”
A Father’s Influence Comes With Winning His Child’s Heart
These thoughts are a sobering reminder about the influence of parents. It is also a reminder of the value of winning the heart of your child. Having a child’s heart means having the opportunity to influence them and pour Biblical truths into their lives. When a child knows he is loved and understood, their heart is open to both correction and encouragement. This kind of connection opens the door for lasting impact, where you can build their faith, character, and wisdom.
Connection is key
If a dad truly wants to influence his child, he has to make sure and keep the relationship strong. Our kids are much more ready to accept correction because they know it is given out of a caring heart. They know you have their best interest in mind.
Being fully present builds relationship
No parent is perfect, and dads will make mistakes. However, their kids will forgive and overlook those mistakes when dad shows up consistently, By being there day in and day out to listen, talk, laugh, or comfort, trust is built. In return, kids feel safe and open their hearts.
Intentionally pursuing the heart
Winning your child’s heart isn’t something you do once and then you’re done, and all is good. It takes time, effort, and purposeful planning and commitment. This may mean pursuing their heart when it feels like they are pulling away. When you still love them with a steady love, it tells them they matter to you, and you truly care.
Making home a safe place
When kids feel safe with their dads, they’re more likely to open up and share their emotions, thoughts, and struggles. That safety comes when you are present and slow to anger. This builds trust, and with trust comes influence.
The Legacy of a Godly Father
Mike’s final words in his sermon sum it up beautifully:
“His thoughts became my thoughts. His dreams became my dreams. I began to love the things he loved. His priorities became my priorities.”
This is the legacy of a father who is intentionally present and spiritually grounded. A dad who lives what he believes passes on more than habits — he passes on a way of life.
Dads, the world may not always recognize the quiet strength you bring to your family. But your children see it. They feel it. And most importantly, they become it.
In the end, it’s all about winning and keeping the child’s heart. When a dad wins that, he has something much more powerful than authority. He has a relationship that allows him to gently guide, shape, and influence for life.
The powerful influence of a father cannot be overstated. When a dad wins his child’s heart, he gains more than obedience — he gains trust, love, and the opportunity to shape their values, character, and faith.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present. And choosing, every day, to lead your children closer to Christ — not just with your words, but with your life.
More Resources For Parental Influence
- The Best Bible Verses About Parents Leading By Example
- Setting the Example In Character Training
- 7 Ways To Influence Your Children
- How to Build Godly Character Through Example
- The Blessings of Faithful Parenting
- Training Kids’ Hearts With Scripture
