Signs Of An Entitled Child
Have you ever noticed your child demanding things without a second thought or acting like they deserve special treatment all the time? It can be tough to spot at first, but recognizing the signs of entitlement early on can make a huge difference. So how do you deal with a child who feels entitled?
With entitled kids, you may notice that they don’t clean up after themselves, they lack initiative about helping around the house, or maybe they complain about meals rather than being thankful that you took the time to fix something for them. In other words, they expect more while giving little, and show no thankfulness for what is done for them or given to them.
Here are some of the common behaviors that might indicate entitlement in your child:
- Expects rewards for good behavior
- Doesn’t help with things
- Believes they have a right to things
- Disregard the feelings of others
- Is more concerned about himself than others
- Demands instant gratification
- Can’t take responsibility, but blames others
- Unable to handle disappointment
- Expects special privileges or treatment
- Doesn’t appreciate what is done for him
- Thinks rules don’t apply to him
- Always wants more
- Thinks he deserves everything
- Lack of accountability
Causes of Entitlement in Kids
As parents, it’s easy to fall into certain traps that can unintentionally feed entitlement in our kids. We love our kids and want them to be happy, but these well-meaning actions can sometimes backfire, creating a sense of entitlement instead of gratitude.
Let’s take a closer look at some of the common parenting mistakes that can lead to this mindset:
- Always giving in to their demands
- Rescuing them from every challenge or difficulty
- Giving rewards for little to no effort
- Never saying no
- Giving them everything they want
- Rewarding them for something they are expected to do
- Not requiring them to help around the home
- Bribing them with treats to get the desired behavior from them
- Giving them their every whim
- Giving them an equal say in decisions
- Waiting on them
- Being more like a peer to them, than a parent
How To Teach Gratitude To Entitled Kids
1. Start teaching them manners
It is not too late for them to start learning, and improving. Start teaching them manners slowly, and with patience. Remember that it will take some time, but with consistency, you will start to see them improve.
A simple example would be teaching them to say thank you
- When someone gives them something
- When someone does something for them
- When someone is kind to them
Help them to realize that they may not always get what they want, but when someone does give them something or do something for them, they need to be polite and show gratitude.
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2. Turn entitled occasions into a learning session
Teaching kids not to be entitled and to be grateful requires having open, ongoing talks about things like gratitude, effort, and what really matters in life. For example, you could say, “We’re lucky to have this nice meal tonight because I’ve been working hard to provide for our family, and I’m glad we can enjoy it together.”
Of course, your kids will sometimes slip into entitled behavior, and that’s normal. Instead of getting frustrated, use those moments as a chance to teach them. Ask them how they think they could have acted differently and what they would do next time.
3. Learn how and when to say no
Many entitled kids take things for granted and they will try to force you to give them whatever they want. When you decline, they start throwing tantrums or carrying on about how you never give them anything or do anything for them.
Do not give in. Learn how to say no when your kids are being demanding.
Help them understand that not every desire can be instantly fulfilled. Teach them the value of patience and the satisfaction that comes from waiting for something they truly want. This helps in stopping that “instant gratification” entitlement.
Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes... in You and Your Kids
Passionate Parenting: Enjoying the Journey of Parenting TeensSolving A Crisis in Christian Parenting: Why so many prodigals?[(Child Training Tips : What I Wish I Knew When My Children Were Young)] [By (author) Reb Bradley] published on (August, 2014)
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An example would be not buying them the toy they are begging for at the store, but telling them you will take a picture of it and add it to their wish list for their birthday or Christmas. You could also encourage them to save their allowance for it.
4. Teach them by example
Children are always watching us, and they learn from our example.
- If we want them to be grateful, we need to set an example by showing gratitude regularly.
- If we want them to think about others more, they need to see us reaching out to help or give to someone in need.
- If we want them to take responsibility for their actions, we need to admit when we have messed up.
- If we want them to be content, we can’t always be talking about all the things we wish we had, or that we want to go buy.
5. Expect more from them
The best thing you can do for your kids is to DO less for them and expect more FROM them. Encourage them to realize that you are a family, and everyone works together. Help them to realize they have a role to fill and need to do their part to help at home.
They need to be aware that it’s not just the job of mom to do all the cleaning and laundry. They contribute to the mess and should help with the clean-up.
Set up a good chore chart, and make them responsible for their jobs. Let them know that when everyone works together, there is more time for fun activities as a family.
This also teaches them the satisfaction of a job well done. It also helps them develop a sense of responsibility and accountability. (Make sure you inspect what you assign!)
6. Teach them the art of giving and sharing
Most entitled kids are selfish, and they do not like to share their stuff. (Actually, ALL kids are like this.) It’s important to start teaching them early how to give and share with other people and to be kind.
Encourage them to go through their toys every now and then and see what they can give to someone in need. This reminds them that they are blessed with what they have, but also helps them to focus on sharing with others who may not have as much.
7. Make Gratitude a Family Habit
Showing gratitude is something that becomes a habit in your family, as you regularly make a point of saying thank you, and being appreciative.
- When someone does something for your family, bake something with the kids and take it to them along with a thank-you note. This teaches your children to show gratitude with more than words.
- Always have your kids write a thank you note (or make cards) to anyone who gives them gifts, or does something special for them.
- At supper, ask each person to share something they are grateful for.
Teaching gratitude to entitled kids isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most important gifts we can give them. By spotting the signs of entitlement, understanding what causes it, and actively working to teach them gratitude, we can help them truly understand the importance of it.
More Resources to Teach Gratitude To Kids
- 7 Practical Tips for Building Character With Gratitude
- Gratitude Journaling for Growing Your Teen’s Faith
- How To Teach Gratitude To Your Children (with free printable gratitude journal)
- 23 Bible Verses About Thanksgiving and Gratitude
