News flash: gardeners can’t simply plant a seed in the ground, then come back a couple of months later to enjoy the fruit. No, it takes time and tending and intentionality to grow a garden.
Like growing plants, our high school students need nurturing. The seeds of character training we planted in elementary school will continue to grow, but we have to cultivate that desired character until it’s harvest time.
We often think of the definition of train in character training as to “teach a particular skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time.”
And that is so true. We want our children to develop honorable character traits, and that takes both practice and instruction over a period of time.
However, there’s another definition we shouldn’t ignore. To train can also mean to “cause (a plant) to grow in a particular direction or into a required shape.”
Our high schoolers are still growing, and they need to be nurtured by the gardeners’ God has assigned to watch over their care—their parents.
How can we cultivate an atmosphere that encourages growth? One that finds a balance between protection and allowing them to experience the storms and wind that will make them stronger?
Parents of teens often feel an immense pressure about what school should look like in the high school years. It’s as if there’s a switch that goes off: It’s time to buckle down and get serious. We have to think about credits and transcripts. Now it counts.
Or perhaps their students won’t go to college and the focus becomes, “What will they do for a living?” How will we help them find training in a specific skill?
Let’s not get so lost in all of the details of school work that we forget the foundation of any good education: relationship.
Dr. Ruth Beenchick put it this way,
“Homeschooling is largely heart to heart. The methods and even the curriculum do not matter nearly as much as the relationship between child and parent.”
The high school years are perhaps the time in our children’s lives that this becomes even more important.
As our students get older, they become more and more independent with their work, and in many ways we want them to be. The skills required to plan out their time and ability to be self-disciplined are essential to adulthood. But increased independence doesn’t mean they don’t still need you!
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Some students thrive in their independence and it comes naturally to them, while others struggle and need more guidance. They need to be taught the skills needed to do it effectively. However, all students need accountability.
Here are some ways you can stay involved while still encouraging and growing independence:
Just consider some of the character traits that are nurtured through our relationships with our teens and by continuing to stay involved in their education. By doing these things, we are helping them to develop respectfulness, self-control, diligence, perseverance, responsibility, trustworthiness, and so much more.
Like plants in a garden, the fruit is seen after the plant has spent the right amount of time in conditions that foster growth. Be patient and keep gardening.
3 Responses
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