Training your children in character is an ongoing process so it is very important to commit to building Godly character over time, rather than expecting to train them in character once and be done.
Probably one of the biggest causes of discouragement for me during the early parenting years was not seeing instant change in my children. I was working hard to teach them God’s Word, and to train them in character, but it seemed they really didn’t have any character to speak of!
My husband knew I was discouraged and reminded me that Godly character doesn’t happen overnight. He also reminded me that I needed to once again commit to building Godly character over time, and not give in to that discouragement.
Character training takes time and a lot of repetition day after day, and year after year. That’s one of the reasons that God gave us our children for at least 18 years! We need that long to help them develop and grow in Godly character.
Keep in mind that you probably won’t see huge results immediately, and may not even see little results as quickly as you’d like to.
The key is to be faithful in planting daily seeds of character, and leaving the results to God.
I often got discouraged when I didn’t see the results that I was hoping to because I expected them to change after just a lesson or two.
Then God reminded me of how often I still struggle with certain character traits, and that it often takes me awhile to get victory in some of those areas.
This helped me to recognize that it wasn’t fair of me to just expect my kids to overcome their struggles and change just right after we’ve had a few character lessons about it. I needed to be patient with them just as God is patient with me!
More than likely you will see spurts of character growth in your children mixed with days where they seem to have absolutely NO Godly character! You may have spells where you aren’t really seeing as much fruit as you’d like to see for your efforts.
Don’t give up!
Keep on reminding yourself that character training is a process that times, and that Godly character doesn’t happen overnight. Recognize that this is a process that takes time as well as years of reinforcement, training, and encouragement.
Some of my kids were actually young adults before I really started to see the fruit of all my teaching and training, and realized that it really HAD stuck.
Sometimes you may feel like your character training isn’t working. At those times it is all the more important to simply commit to building Godly character over time, and stop looking for the instant results.
1. You can teach and train your children in Godly character, but you cannot FORCE them to choose it.
Your kids have to choose daily to show good character, or give in to their sinful nature and the negative character traits that brings.
Your job is to teach and train them in His Word as God tells you to. Therefore your goal should be to remain faithful in that training so you can stand before God and say you were faithful and did your best.
2. God’s Word won’t return unto Him void.
Claim the promise in Isaiah 55:11 that tells us that God’s Word WILL prosper and accomplish what it is meant to do, and it will NOT return unto Him void.
So if you stay faithful in planting God’s Word in the hearts and minds of your children, His Word will do what it is meant to do. It will bring conviction, as well as the fruit of Godly character.
The next time you are discouraged when you see those character flaws in your children, remind yourself that Godly character doesn’t happen overnight, and determine to remain faithful!
1. Write Isaiah 55:11 out on a card and post it in a visible spot where you will see it often, and be reminded that God’s Word won’t return unto Him void.
2. Write a prayer of commitment to God promising to remain faithful in pointing your kids to God’s Word daily and training them in Godly character.
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Anna, I’m so glad that this post encouraged you! I love your mention of how culture has us used to instant and fast — it’s so easy to expect that when training our children. Keep planting those seeds, and claim Galatians 6:9 — keep planting those seeds with the harvest in mind. You will reap what you sow!
Gracie, sounds like you got started on the right foot, and even though circumstances changed things for awhile, you are back on track again. Isn’t it amazing how quickly young ones can memorize things? It’s the best time to fill their minds with God’s Word, so stay at it. And stay encouraged!
This has brought my thoughts back on my first year of homeschooling when we do bible lessons and memory verses first before anything else. My preschooler and my kindergartener had wonderful time memorizing scripture which in turn encouraged me to do it along with them. Two years had passed with several travels and lots of transition that we had to go through that i lost focus on these things. Character problems are becoming more pronounced during homeschool. You’re indeed right on focusing on character first because academics will then be easier to tackle. I am working on trying the sample lessons on your Little lads and ladies curriculum and just started on obedience and is pleasantly surprised how fast it is for the girls to memorize the Bible verses. It is just up to me to continue doing it specially difficult behavior and sibling squabbles seem not to end and dragging me down.
Thanks for the encouragement!
Wonderful post!! This one really hit home for me, and is exactly what I needed to “hear.” I recently began the process of building Godly character in my 4-year-old son and find that discouragement strikes way too easily. Whenever it seems he has a setback or I don’t see immediate results, I feel discouraged that either it’s not making a difference or I’m just not doing a good enough job. In our culture of “instant” and “fast,” it’s hard to remember that when it comes to growth, it takes time. It really is planting seeds, believing that one day they will yield fruit. Thanks for the words of encouragement.
Thanks for the encouragement to stick with it. It is so easy to get discouraged when not seeing instant growth!
This post is so important. It is so easy to get discouraged by seemingly not seeing character growth in my children – especially my teenaged daughter. Yet people who know her outside of the home tell me how polite and kind she is. I wish those attitudes would show themselves more with the family but I know home is a safe place and she feels free to not keep her emotions in check as much. I imagine (know) that is learned from watching me. I can be easily frustrated and impatient with the kids at home but we go out and suddenly I can talk with a much kinder voice and be much more patient. It is a struggle.
BTW – These books look so cute!