Recently I noticed myself getting offended really easily offended at the littlest things. I found myself mumbling to myself in response to situations or things that were said or done. When my husband said something in a teasing way, I would take offense at it; I was easily “hurt” by things my kids said.
When I realized this was happening, I stopped to think WHY I was letting little, innocent comments or actions offend me. Why was I being so sensitive about everything?! As I thought about it, I realized that there are four things that often contribute to this. Why am I so easily offended?
Things were busy during the holidays. We had family here for over a week, and stayed up late talking, and playing games. There was more cooking and clean up than usual, with a bigger group here. The result, I was TIRED! When you are fatigued, it’s important to realize that you aren’t thinking too clearly. It’s a time to be very careful about how you respond, and a time to make an extra effort NOT to let things that don’t matter bother you.
Sometimes we are carrying extra burdens, whether it be concern for a situation regarding our kids, our finances, or other difficulties. It could just be a temporary time of extra stress for various reasons. When I am extra stressed, it weighs on me, and I have found that I am easily irritated and frustrated by things that normally wouldn’t bother me.
Communication is SO important! Many things can be taken wrong if there isn’t clear communication. Be sure you understand not only what was said, but what was meant. Ask questions, and talk about it, rather than assuming someone meant to be hurtful. Lack of communication just opens the door for misunderstanding to take place.
There have been times when I felt hurt by how one of the kids responded to me, and I took offense, thinking they were being rude by not wanting to talk, only to find out that they were hurting and upset about something. They were responding that way because they weren’t ready to talk about what was bothering them at the time, or feared they would cry if they said much at the time.
Give people the benefit of the doubt, and don’t assume the worst!
“Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.” Psalm 119:165
Often we allow fatigue or stress to push aside our quiet time in God’s Word. I love the quote I heard recently: “I’m too busy to NOT take time to be alone with God.” Spending time with God and His Word help renew our spirit, and give us a peace that helps us not be easily offended.
I don’t enjoy being around a person who is always getting their feelings hurt or getting offended at the littlest thing, and I certainly don’t want to BE that person!
If by chance, you find yourself in that “mode”, ask which of the above factors may be causing it. Get rest if needed, let go of some of the stressful things if possible, keep the door of communication open, and spend time in God’s Word seeking His peace!
17 Responses
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Thank you. This is so true and peaceful advice.
Thanks Lyli, I appreciate you hosting the link-up party!
Kathie, thank you for linking up at Thought-Provoking Thursday last week! This is a good word (and a timely one for me as I just had a discussion with a friend on this same topic over the weekend.)
Thank you Kathie, this was timely 😉 and thanks for sharing it for WholeHearted Wednesdays.
Glad you found it when you needed it. And yes, a sense of humor definitely helps! 🙂 Thanks for stopping in.
I needed to here this today. Thank you for helping me stop and think through why I’m easily offended. I find that keeping a sense of humor helps me see the situation for what it is instead of taking personal offense. Visiting from the FF blog hop. Many blessings!
Lisa, it’s a challenge to get that balance, isn’t it? I think we all struggle with that.
Joanne, I love that acronym! Thanks so much or sharing it. 🙂
I know I fit into these categories at times, being too easily offended for each of those reasons. But I don’t want to be. One of my resolutions for the year is figuring out how to stay soft-hearted while being more thick-skinned. So your post is quite fitting for me. Thanks!
So very true. Each of these can be a trigger to offense. I remember years ago hearing a Charles Stanley teaching in which he gave the acronym “HALT”. He said … whenever you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired to halt. Any one of those, alone or in combination, can lead you to make a wrong decision, a wrong thought or a wrong emotion. I have never forgotten it.
Amanda, thanks for sharing this. I agree with what you said – our society is busy! We have to guard our time, prioritize to make time for God, and seek to overlook meaningless “offenses”. Definitely a choice how we respond!
Elizabeth, I LOVE that verse! Used it often with the kids,and encouraged them to overlook offenses from their siblings. 🙂
Hope you have recuperated from the holiday exhaustion!
Great post, as always! Like you, I had family visiting for the holidays and boy was I burning the candle at both ends! Tons of fun, but utterly exhausting, and I was to the point of tears a few times!!!
What helps me the most when I’m tempted to be offended is to quote this verse to myself: Proverbs 19:11 (amplified) – “Good sense makes a man restrain his anger; and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense.”
Thanks for linking up for Marriage Monday!
Blessings,
Elizabeth
Thanks for this little post. I’m going to share it on my FB page. It is so true! I find our society is very easily offended and I think a lot of it because people are sooo busy that they are always tired and stressed out. And a lot of us don’t spend enough time in God’s Word to keep our hearts calm and peaceful. I’ve been doing a study myself on having a quiet spirit and I think this definitely comes into play. Yesterday my husband and I were talking about something that had happened at church and we just decided to let things just be. Because otherwise we can take that offense and carry it farther and longer than it needs to go. We have to make a conscious choice to not let what people say (that might have not been what they meant) cause us to lose our joy for Christ.