Finding ways to make heart ties with your children should be one of your top parenting priorities!
Life is busy and spending quality time with your kids can be a challenging thing, but it is important to spend that time with them so you can connect and grow closer.
The closer the heart ties with your children are, the greater influence you will have on them.
When we make heart ties we open the door of emotional closeness with our kids, and they are more willing to listen to us and talk with us about difficult or sensitive issues.
Developing a closeness which connects us to our kids is something that we must do INTENTIONALLY.
Winning the hearts of our children is one of the most important things we can do as parents, so we must purposefully practice some daily habits to connect with our kids. We practiced some very simple things activities with our eight kids over the years to make strong heart ties with our children, and you can do them too!
1. Have a weekly family night.
This doesn’t have to be something that costs money! Choose some simple activities that the kids enjoy. They are usually happy just to spend time doing something special with you. It can be baking together, playing games, or occasional outings to the park. This tells your kids they are important to you, and you enjoy spending time with them.
2. Make bedtime special.
At bedtime, allow extra time for some chatting, and prayer. Often kids will open up about their day and share their heart with you. After the chatting, pray with them. Praying together brings a unity and closeness unlike anything else can do.
3. Unplug when the kids are around!
Electronics can be such a HUGE distraction! Consider how much time you spend on SCREEN time. You may be surprised to realize just how much of your time is consumed that way, when you could be spending it with your kids.
When your kids want to talk, put the electronics down and give them your attention. They will remember that they were important enough to you that you were willing to get off of Facebook, or put your phone down.
4. Play together.
Make time daily to play with your kids. Join them when they are building with their blocks, or playing with play dough. Do something with them that THEY enjoy.
Often just getting down and playing beside them for a few minutes fills their love tank, and they are happier and more content for the rest of the day.
5. Connect physically every day.
Hug your kids, tickle them, rub their back, tousle their hair, etc. Kids never get too old for this. Teens need to be hugged, even though they may act resistant to it at times.
Always hug your kids before they leave, when they come home, and at bedtime!
6. Listen to their heart, not just their words.
Often we are distracted and don’t really get what it is our kids are telling us. Often they are trying to express hurt, or fear. Rather than being quick to give an answer, we should listen with the intent to understand and feel what they are feeling.
Get excited about what they are excited about, and offer comfort when they are expressing sadness.
7. Spend time outside with them.
Whether it’s going for a walk or bike ride, or just playing kick ball in the back yard, being out in the fresh air helps to clear your mind. It gets you away from the things in the house that distract you, enabling you to really enjoy the time you are spending with the kids.
What are some things you do to keep strong heart ties with your children?
13 Responses
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Great list! I think spending lots of time reading aloud to our boys was one of the most beneficial things I did.
These are great ideas! Thanks for linking up at Women With Intention Wednesdays!
Thanks Jenny!
Donna, that’s such a great reminder — we need to do the things with them that THEY enjoy, rather than what WE think is fun.
What great ideas! I like the one about touching them daily.
Good list! I think if we all thought about it we could come up with things to foster the relationships with our kids. I used to wish my daughter would cook or do crafts with me, but she prefers to simply talk and to shop! I learned it doesn’t matter what the activity is, as long as you are enjoying each other’s company.
Lisa, that’s a common problem for us moms that makes it hard to enjoy the bedtime ritual. I remember many nights just wanting to sleep, so I rushed the kids to bed – not always in a kind way. :/
I definitely need to work on one of these. . . making bed time special. By day’s end, I am whipped. And usually working (I’m a single mama). I know God’s grace is sufficient in this as well and this is a good reminder to ask Him for wisdom for bedtime routines for my youngers. Thank you for your good words! Visiting from Titus2sday!
Carolyn, my challenge is always being in a hurry at bedtime thinking of all that still needs to be done! But the stuff waits – the kids are grown up too soon. Thanks for stopping in!
I really struggle with making bedtime special. When I get to their rooms and see the mess or hear them fighting, I want to lecture. But that is no way to end our day. Thanks for the reminder! I hopped over from the Mom2Mom linkup 🙂