Homeschooling isn’t easy, and bad days often lead to feelings of discouragement. A discouraged homeschool mom can feel like she is failing, or may even seriously consider quitting.
Through my 31 years of homeschooling, I had MANY days when I was discouraged, and ready to quit. Over time I learned what I needed to do to help me handle those times of discouragement.
What to do when you are discouraged in your homeschooling:
1. Seek the Lord, and get your eyes back on Him.
Often when we are discouraged in our homeschooling, it’s because we are looking at our circumstances, or what we consider our failings, and we get our eyes off the Lord. Rather than seeking Him and His wisdom, we try to do things in our own strength.
Everything we do as a homeschooling mom needs to rest on the foundation of our relationship with Jesus Christ. Therefore it is vital that you make a commitment to regularly spend time in God’s Word, as well as take time to pray and seek His wisdom.
Don’t let this time get pushed aside in the busyness of life. The busier you are, the more you need to depend on God and seek His wisdom.
RELATED: BUSY MOM’S GUIDE TO FINDING TIME WITH GOD
2. Remember your reasons for homeschooling.
Many times when we get discouraged, it’s because we have lost sight of our goals and priorities, and are focusing on the wrong things.
One of the most common reasons for discouragement is getting our priorities out of order, and putting academics at the top of our priority list.
We need to remember that homeschooling is about discipling our kids and pointing them to God, and helping them develop Godly character. True education seeks to train the heart, and not just the mind.
3. Don’t compare yourself or your homeschool to others.
Comparison puts you on a fast track to discouragement, yet we so often fall into that trap. We look at what other moms are doing in their homeschooling, and begin to feel like we aren’t doing as good of a job as they are.
God says that we are not wise when we compare ourselves among ourselves! Ask Him what He wants for YOUR family, and be faithful to what He shows you.
4. Find and fix the reasons for your discouragement.
Here are 3 common reasons for discouragement in our homeschooling:
- Disorganization – When you are disorganized, it makes it hard to get things done, and will quickly lead to frustration. Focus on organizing your plans, and your supplies.
- Kids’ behavior – Are your kids out of control? Are your kids having obedience issues, or struggling with bad attitudes? Most behavioral problems go back to character issues. If necessary take a break from the academics and focus on character.
- Feeling like a failure in some area – It’s SO easy to feel like a failure in your housekeeping, parenting, or homeschooling. Focus on being realistic about your expectations — both of yourself, and your kids.
5. Learn how to encourage yourself.
In I Samuel 30:6 it tells us that David encouraged himself in the Lord his God. It’s important that you know how to encourage yourself in the Lord!
Some tips for when you need encouragement:
- Don’t carry the load alone. Get support from your spouse, as well as other homeschoolers.
- Pull out those resources that encourage you and remind you of your goals, and priorities.
- If fatigued, slow down and lighten up. Sometimes it’s best to just let some of the extras go, rather than pushing yourself beyond what you can handle.
- Find Scripture that encourages you. When the thoughts come that we aren’t doing a good job in our parenting, or that there is no help for that rebellious child, (or…..you fill in the blank with what thought is discouraging YOU), we MUST claim God’s promises. Speak truth to yourself.
Don’t allow yourself to stay discouraged! Find the reasons that you are discouraged, make changes as necessary, and learn to encourage yourself in the Lord. [magicactionbox]
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Jennifer, I’m so sorry you are going through this. Your husband will be held accountable for his abuse. He is not being a Christian husband in any way shape or form. God never commands us to be treated harshly or unfairly by our husbands. Your husband is breaking every single command God has for a husband. He is sinning. When husbands use a fake version of Christianity to promote controlling abuse of their wives this makes God angry. You, as a child of God are his most precious possession and I can assure you that He is not ok with what is happening to you. We are to submit to our husbands, but we are not to submit to sin or abuse. Please try and get ahold of the book ”The Emotionally Destructive Relationship” by Leslie Vernick. She is a Christian counselor and has very practical advice for women in your exact situation. My prayers are with you.
Hi Jennifer! So sorry to hear about all this – I’m going to send you an email with some thoughts. 🙂
I am so discouraged. I don’t want to homeschool, but my husband is convinced that I must. He doesn’t have the time to help out, nor is he willing to hold the kids accountable for completing their work. He will threaten the kids and spank them, and that’s it. We have over $30,000 in credit card debt, so I have to make do with what we have (i.e erase the work that other kids have done) or find free curriculum on the internet. Both of those take time that I don’t have. We have 11 children ages 18 down to 12 months. The screaming and fighting never end. As soon as I stop to deal with one problem, another starts. I don’t go to church anymore. My family attends a church that I cannot attend in good conscience anymore. The pastor has convinced my husband that the kids will go to hell if we put them in public school. He also teaches that if I disobey my husband I am disobeying God — no exceptions– and that the husband is to make his wife’s life difficult if she doesn’t obey him immediately. My husband has forbidden me from attending any other church. So I stay home with the baby (he won’t take the baby to church because it’s my job to take care of him. There is one oneness in my marriage. I feel like a prisoner. I am not allowed to make any decisions (including about the children’s schooling). I am desperate for any help, but we have no family in the area, and have no money to hire help. My husband doesn’t think it’s his job to watch the kids. I am overwhelmed with the homeschooling, dishes, laundry, doctor visits, diaper changing and housework. My husband tells to teach the kids how to do it, but there is no actual help from him. Of course, they need to help, but teaching them is much more difficult than it sounds. I don’t get enough sleep (I put them to bed — he goes to bed when he’s tired), I have no church family, and I have no time to cultivate friendships. I am miserable, and I desperately want to put my kids in any school I can. The only option my husband will consider is to get much more deeply into debt and put the kids in his church’s private school. I have a master’s degree, but my husband has forbidden me to get a job. I feel like such a failure all of the time. I hate homeschooling, nobody cares.