No matter how hard we try, or how many parenting books we read, we WILL make mistakes in our parenting. We are, after all, human! It is so easy to make some common mistakes when our children “mess up”, or are struggling in different areas. Are you making any of these 5 parenting mistakes?
Often when our children are having behavior issues, this is how we respond:
1. We react with embarrassment.
In our minds we think “I’m going to get you under control so you will stop embarrassing me, and making me look bad.”
This causes us to focus on the behavior, rather than the heart issue that is causing that behavior or problem. (CHANGING BEHAVIOR OR CHANGING HEARTS?)
It will also cause us to try not to let anyone know what is going on with our child, rather than seeking Godly counsel.
2. We refuse to admit there is an issue or problem.
Often we want to give our kids the benefit of the doubt. As a result, when we feel that twinge of concern about something, we let ourselves naively believe that there is not problem, or that our kids wouldn’t “do that”. Denial will NOT make the problem go away!
3. We rush to our child’s defense.
When an adult comes to talk to us about a problem with our child,we make excuses for them rather than making them learn to take personal responsibility for their wrong behavior.
4. We respond inconsistently to wrong behavior.
Often we get tired, or are caught up in what we are doing, and then tend to let wrong behavior go. Sometimes we get frustrated at repeated offenses, and think it’s not worth the time and energy to deal with it any more. (So in reality, the child wins the battle.)
5. We are complacent, hoping that it’s a phase that will soon end.
Wrong behavior needs to be dealt with rather than ignored. The issue causing that behavior WON’T just go away. The longer we let those “little weeds” grow, the deeper the roots get in our our child’s heart, and the harder it is then to root those “weeds” out. Don’t let the weeds grow in your child’s heart!
A Better Way To Respond to Our Kids’ Struggles or Wrong Behavior:
1. Realize that they are human, like us, and they WILL struggle. So will every one else’s kids – so NO NEED to be embarrassed!
2. Remember that we are in a spiritual battle for our kids, and that their struggles are real, and not something to just ignore.
3. Respond consistently EVEN when you are tired, or discouraged.
4. Regularly seek God’s wisdom and strength to guide your kids, and train them how to biblically respond to any and all issues they are struggling with.
We have a God who INVITES us to come to Him for wisdom. Ask Him to show you if you are making any of these mistakes, and seek to daily depend on Him for guidance you as you parent your children!
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