Do you want to discover the secrets to being a more joyful mother?
That is what we all hope for, right? I want my kids to remember me as a happy mom, rather than a stressed-out unhappy one.
Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or working outside the home, being a mother is one of the most challenging—and rewarding—roles you’ll ever have. And while there’s no magic formula for happiness, there are certain things you can do to make the journey a little bit easier (and a lot more joyful).
5 Secrets To Being A More Joyful Mother
What are some secrets to being a more joyful mother?
1. Be careful how you think.
Not too long ago, I was discouraged about some situations, and my mind was full of negative thoughts. I was praying about it, and the Lord reminded me of the importance of right thinking.
Rather than believe the things the devil was putting in my thoughts, which were nothing but lies, I needed to dwell on the truth of God’s Word.
When I felt like I couldn’t handle things, God reminded me that “I can do all things through Christ.”
So often we stay discouraged and lose our joy because we aren’t focused on the truth of God’s Word.
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To stay focused on those truths, we need to be reading God’s Word daily, as well as meditating on it. I know how hard it can be to find time for this as busy, young moms.
However, everything that we do as moms, needs to rest on the foundation of God’s Word. Finding time to spend in His Word must be a priority.
2. Give your expectations to God.
When I start expecting my husband to do certain things to help around the house, or expecting my children to be extra diligent in their school work, or go the extra mile to be helpful, I am setting myself up for frustration, disappointment, and a loss of my joy.
Don’t expect, but rather count it as a blessing when someone does something extra that pleases you.
“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed.”
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3. Be thankful!
The easiest way to accomplish the first two things above, is to have a thankful heart.
“Count your blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”
When I find myself getting irritated about dishes being left in the sink, I stop and tell myself “I’m glad we have dirty dishes. That means we aren’t going hungry.” Then I thank the Lord for His provision.
You can do this with any situation that is making you irritable.
4. Listen to and sing hymns, and good Christian music.
Music can lift your spirit, and increase your joy. It’s one of my favorite secrets to being a more joyful mother!
I remember how my mom was always singing, and seemed happy. I’m sure she had times that she wasn’t feeling real joyful, but she had learned that singing would help change her heart.
Often I will turn on a CD of Scripture songs when I find that I am in need of an attitude improvement.
There’s something about hearing God’s Word that just changes your heart and your attitude.
I remember one particular day when I was a young mom of several children, and my attitude wasn’t very good. I was grumbling and unhappy about dishes, diapers, discipline, etc.
Right in the middle of my grumbling, I heard my little son singing in the other room. He was singing the Scripture song that we had learned a few weeks earlier: “I delight to do thy will, Oh Lord.”
It convicted my heart, and I realized I needed to change my attitude, and delight in doing what God had called me to as a mom.
5. Get more sleep.
As busy moms it is very easy to stay up late, trying to get work done while the kids are sleeping. Perhaps you also get up early to get a jump start on things while the house is still quiet.
While I understand this and struggled with it myself when my kids were younger, I quickly realized that the resulting fatigue from not getting enough sleep wasn’t worth that extra time to get work done.
When you’re tired, everything seems worse than it is, and can be overwhelming and stressful.
When you are tired and stressed, it’s hard to be joyful. Make sleep a priority, and discipline yourself to follow a schedule that gives you the sleep you need.
How do I find joy as a mom?
6. Give yourself grace.
As moms, we are going to mess up. It’s inevitable We’re going to have good days and bad days. If we expect this and give ourselves the grace we try to extend to our kids and spouses, it will pour over as more joy in our lives.
We are taught grace and humility through God’s Word, but yet it can sometimes be so difficult to offer ourselves the same forgiveness that Christ has given to us.
7. Create a support system
If your days and nights are filled with you being surrounded by your kids and their peers, you are missing out on something that is essential to any Mom: A support system.
We all need someone to bounce ideas off of, to pray with us, and to offer support when things are challenging. Sometimes we have people around us that we can just reach out to when we need them, but for some of us, it can be more difficult to find our support system.
If you don’t have your Mom support system in place, pray about it. Ask God to show you to someone who can be the friend, mentor and peer you need in this phase of your life.
How can I be a calmer mom?
8. Set aside time for self-care
If we are constantly busy taking care of the people around us, it can be really tempting to let our own self-care fall by the wayside. But Mom, your health IS important!
When you are tired, stressed or just feeling hurried constantly, it will take a toll on your mental health. And your mental health will take a toll on your loved ones.
If you are tempted to keep running on fumes when your body is asking for a break, please remember that taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family. Those that depend on you want the best version of you that you can give them. And when you are cared for, the joy will be evident!
9. Be present in the moment
If there is anything moms are good at, it’s multitasking.
Checking emails while your children play.
Talking on the phone while you drive your kids to soccer practice.
Writing your grocery list while you wait for church to begin.
While these tasks aren’t bad, and they are actually necessary, it’s important that you pick and choose when you will do them. Use the little moments to connect with your kids and your spouse when you can. Be present in the everyday mundane. It’s often in these little pockets of time where you will laugh the most with your kids or have the deepest conversations. Take advantage of the moment and be present with those most important to you.
10. Find your reason(s) to be joyful
What makes you feel more joy? Is it day dates with your spouse? Is it extra time in God’s Word? Is it taking a bath once a week?
Find what it is that brings joy into your life and then discover more ways to make sure that you get to pour into those joyful experiences that keep you centered, joyful and ready to be the Mom God created you to be.
As moms, let’s ask God to help us to live each day joyfully! What better way to lead our kids to Him, than demonstrating the joy that only He can give us?!
