Why am I irritated with my husband?

Recently I found myself getting irritated with my husband over a couple of little things. Ugh, why am I irritated with my husband again? I allowed myself to dwell on those things. That fed the irritation that I was already feeling towards him. Friend, we have been married for 41 years. Though I have learned the secret to overcoming those growing feelings of irritation, I don’t always put the secret into practice as soon as I should!


How do I become less irritable with my husband?

Husband and wife arguing text on image reads Why am I irritated with my husband?

A few weeks ago I was focusing in a negative way on the things that were irritating me. The Lord quietly reminded me that I should pray for my husband.  As I prayed I asked God to protect him on the job, and keep him from injury as he worked. Then I began to thank God for a husband who works SO hard every day. He has for 41 years to take care of and provide for me and our family!

That led me to thank God for his faithfulness to me over the years. His strong work ethic, his faithfulness to God, and serving Him. One thing led to another as I thanked God for various qualities that I appreciated about my husband.

Before long, all thoughts of irritation had vanished away

Is it normal to be annoyed by your spouse? Yes. But when I refocused my heart in prayer, I suddenly felt a new sense of gratitude for him. I realized just how blessed I really was to have a husband like mine! Really, it’s a simple solution, but it works! (By the way.. join our Praying Scripture For Your Husband 30 Day Challenge, and get started today!)

Why stay unhappy and irritated with your husband? Go to God, and He will change your heart!

When you find yourself getting frustrated with your spouse, stop and pray for him. It’s hard to stay upset at someone when you are praying for them! Then change your prayer to one of thanks for all the GOOD things that made you fall in love with him in the first place.

Bringing our thoughts captive, and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones,  changes our attitude and outlook. I would encourage you to make a list of all the things you appreciate and love about your husband.

To prevent getting irritated with your husband, choose one of the items on the list. Then do these two things:

  1.  Thank God for that special thing you appreciate in your husband.
  2.  Thank your husband. You can either write him a little note and leave it where he’ll find it, or send him a text. (Think how much that would brighten his day!)

I can guarantee that your attitude will improve and your love for your husband will grow, as you begin to focus on his character strengths and all the things that you appreciate about him. So the answer to “Is it normal for your husband to get on your nerves?” is yes, but you don’t have to stay that way!


solution to irritation at my husband

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28 Responses

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    once entirely right. This publish truly made my day. You cann’t consider
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  3. Charity, so glad you got the email (even later), and hope the renewed perspective will help you as you strive to heal those broken spots, and renew your mind! Praying for you!

  4. Chantel – I LOVE that idea. “I get to” totally changes the view point to one of privilege, rather than something that annoys us.

  5. Yes Kathie – I like that thought of God using those irritations to guide us in praying for our husbands!

  6. Thanks Kathie. This is what I try (and sometimes remember!) to do, too. I think God does give us wives insight to recognize our husbands’ faults and issues, including more serious ones than just little things we find irritating, for the purpose of praying specific, well-aimed and powerful prayers. We have to resist the temptation to use these insights instead to be critical and grumbling (which is what our adversary would like us to do with them, thus bringing division).

  7. Exactly! That’s what I was thinking the other night – my hubby was snoring so loudly that it was driving me crazy! But, I thought about it, and you know what? I’d rather hear him snore loudly every single night than never get to hear him snore ever again. πŸ™‚ There’s also another piece of advice that I’ve heard before that works – instead of saying “I have to…” say “I get to…” πŸ™‚ We recently had a baby about three months ago and I was thinking – I have to get up multiple times every night to feed my daughter! πŸ™ But, you know what? I GET to get up multiple times every night to feed my DAUGHTER! πŸ˜€ I’m so blessed to have a wonderful hubby and baby girl. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  8. I got this in my mailbox earlier this week and didn’t read it. I should have. This last year of marriage has been hard. Really hard. I need this renewed perspective. I need the Lord to heal some broken spots and to renew my mind toward my husband.

  9. Suzanne, that is great perspective! Love it. Thank you for sharing!

  10. Aww, thanks Amanda! Thank YOU for being encouraging! πŸ™‚

  11. Angela, y

    Yes, it really works with any relationship, doesn’t it?! It’s hard to stay mad at someone you are sincerely praying for.

  12. Good advice. I have practiced this before but often forget. I should put it into practice for my kids and my mom too!

  13. I love reading your posts and the way you respond to everyone’s comment with another encouraging perspective! You are awesome!

  14. This is great advice. Its also always helps me to acknowledge that my husband has the same daily struggles as me. He has his own business and you can line up my struggles as a homeschooler and SAHM to the issues be has at work. They are just in a different context!

  15. Me, too! When little things or big things irritate me, I think how glad I am that he is still here and I thank the Lord for him and that we are still here together after 52 years! I think how unimportant such-and-such a thing would be if he were gone on before me, and I purpose to love him and be grateful for him. It’s a choice!

  16. Yes! Pray. Great post!
    Please come join the link up at somuchathome.blogspot.com! I host a party each Wednesday. The link up parties last a whole week, so you can link up at any time. Feel free to link up as many posts as you’d like.
    God Bless.

  17. Good afternoon!! Just letting you know that this post is among this week’s featured post and will be shared across social media today. πŸ™‚

  18. Well you have a head start by beginning this BEFORE you are married! πŸ™‚

  19. I try to do this with my hubby-to-be, but let me tell you, it’s not always easy, haha! But GOD can change hearts when we cant πŸ˜‰ Thanks for the reminder!

  20. Mary, thanks for stopping in! Glad you enjoyed the post. Isn’t it funny how the simple things can be so hard?! I love you comment about about it defeating the devil’s plan. Hadn’t thought of it that way, but it’s true!!

  21. Stopping by from Thought Provoking Thursday. Loved the post. So simple, but not always the obvious or the easiest. But when we change it up, it defeats the enemy’s plan! AMEN!!!

  22. Alison, what a great way to put your love into action, and forget those irritations!

  23. Hi Amanda – you’re right! Why is it often the last thing that we do? I was certainly speaking to myself in this post!

  24. Kim, that’s a really good idea to play that mental game. That would be a quick way to forget the irritations and focus on the good.

  25. Excellent idea- just sent my hubby a text after doing it!

  26. It is such a simple solution and often the last one we turn to! Thanks for posting this.
    Found you through Mama Moments Monday link up.

  27. It is so easy to let irritation prevail. I mean, husbands are just so IMPERFECT! πŸ™‚ Many times I play the mental game of “What if he were no longer here?” Just a few minutes of dwelling on how lonely I would be without my husband and ALL of his aggravating ways πŸ™‚ is enough to bring about an attitude adjustment most of the time. Thank you for posting about this subject!

  28. Good advice… praying for our husbands, forgiving them,… and serving them are so important… and hiding a bad attitude just isn’t what God wants. Thank you for sharing this.

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