Do you ever feel like a failure – as a mom, a homeschooler, a Christian? I have to say that I have felt like a failure in all three of those areas many times over the years! As I struggled with my own feelings of inadequacy, I came up with a list of 4 Things You Must Do When You Feel Like A Failure. I hope these tips help you recognize the value God placed in you.
I remember looking at my mom as a teenager and thinking that she had it all together, and never had any problems. I looked forward to the time when I would be an adult, and like her, be a good Christian wife and mom, who never struggled or had any problems being what I ought to be.
However, 30+ years later with 8 of my own kids, guess what? I STILL hadn’t arrived!
- I often struggled to be a patient mom.
- I’ve doubted my own wisdom when dealing with my kids.
- There were times when I felt like I was doing less than a great job at homeschooling.
- I went through spiritual struggles, and when God showed me those areas I got discouraged and thought, “I feel like a failure. I just keep messing up.”
One day the Lord spoke to me about those thoughts and helped me realize that as long as I’m growing as a Christian, He is going to be showing me areas where I am failing. There are areas where I need His help, and things that I need to work on. That is a GOOD thing!
It means I am still hearing His voice, and my heart is soft.
I don’t ever want to get to the place where I feel that I have arrived, or to the point that I am no longer feeling God’s gentle promptings in areas where I need to grow and depend more on Him.
How do you handle failure as a Christian woman?
1. Failure doesn’t have to mean you are stuck
Realize you are always going to have areas where you need to grow.
One of the first things that comes to light when you become a parent, or when you begin to home school are your character flaws! It’s important that we recognize our shortcomings and learn from them.
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When we recognize our own flaws we can make changes and strive to be better.
Just because we aren’t equipped in the beginning, doesn’t mean we can’t learn and grow and make ourselves better as we go.
2. It’s okay to fail, but we need to keep getting back up.
Don’t give up.
Think of the words in Proverbs 24:16:
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For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.
It’s okay to fail, but we need to keep getting back up.
The first and most crucial step is to acknowledge that we are all imperfect humans. This acknowledgment will allow us to accept who we are and embrace the fact that we will make mistakes.
Acknowledging our failures can change the way we think and respond to them. Rather than seeing failure as something negative, we could see it as an opportunity for growth.
So don’t let failure hold you down. Let it make you better as a mom, wife, friend, and woman.
3. Learn through your failures.
Mistakes are stepping stones to growth. However, we have to CHOOSE to learn through our failures and mistakes. Rather than get discouraged, let your failures cause you to recognize your need for God’s help.
Failure is inevitable. You will fail. The question is, are you going to use your failures as steps on the path to success?
Learning from our mistakes is essential to growth, but it’s more than that- it’s a biblical principle.
Romans 8:28 reminds us that God uses everything, good and not so good, for His ultimate purpose. He will be glorified, even when we mess up.
4. Encourage yourself.
In I Samuel 30:6 it says, “but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.”
We all need to learn how to encourage ourselves. This is vital because we are of no use to our family or those we are serving if we’re discouraged.
If we let discouragement take root, it can dig us into a deep hole of self-doubt. It can distract us from what we should be doing and prevent us from encouraging others.
You might ask yourself “Why am I a failure all the time?”
It’s important to remind ourselves first of all that we do NOT fail all of the time. And that even when we do fail, that we still have a very important purpose in God’s kingdom.
He has a plan for you and a role in His eternal story! So don’t allow feelings of discouragement to creep in and keep you from that purpose.
The Things You Must Do When You Feel Like A Failure
As I’ve grown into my role as an adult and Mother, I’ve realized that from my young perspective my Mom had it all together. But now being in this role, I see that while she made it look easy, she likely struggled privately with many of the same feelings I do.
Realizing that alone is encouraging!
We aren’t in this alone. We have a God who loves us and wants to see us grow. And hopefully, you have people in your life who want to cheer you along even when you feel like a failure.
I pray that as you live your day-to-day life and stumble upon moments big and small where you feel inadequate, that you will remember this list of ways to handle failure as a Christian woman.
I hope that it encourages and serves as a simple reminder of God’s goodness even when you aren’t feeling that you’re doing very well. Open His Word, talk to Him, and fill your mind with the truth: He created you with purpose, and even with shortcomings, His love covers it all.
