What do kids need to hear from their parents? As parents, we love our children. We think they are the best! But we often fail to communicate that to them. Do you fail to say the important things your kids need to hear? When they are little, we tend to shower them with kisses and words of praise and delight. “I love you sooo much! You are so precious! You did a great job coloring that picture!”
The positive affirmations just flow naturally because of the joy they bring us.
Somehow, at some time, as our kids get older, all of that changes. We don’t express direct affection near as often, or freely.
We may even unknowingly quit offering words of encouragement to our kids.
However, they still need to know that we love them and accept them unconditionally. There are things your child needs to hear, rather than just show them by things we do or buy for them.
Our positive words go a long way.
Using your words to express your approval of and love for your children is one of the key components of winning and keeping their hearts. When you intentionally focus on positive things to say to kids it builds them up and helps them to feel secure. When your child feels secure in their relationship with you, they are more likely to be honest with you and open up to you as they grow.
If you have their hearts as they grow, you then have the opportunity to influence them and point them towards God as a teen as well!
– They are loved and accepted unconditionally
– You will love them no matter what, even when they make mistakes or disappoint you. We all do things that we regret in life. It is really important for your child to know this unconditional support from their parents. This encouragement helps alleviate the insecurities that often come as a tween or teen.
– The things they do are important
– You will be there to support them as they grow into adults. Setting your expectations for this process with your teen also helps avoid a lot of heartbreaks later on when it doesn’t happen like either or both parents expected.
As a parent, you have the opportunity to speak things into your child’s life. One of the things that will help them grow in their relationship with you is what they hear from you. When you intentionally focus on things for kids to hear, it builds up and helps them feel secure in their relationship with you. This can be done by being intentional about positive things to say and showing love through words!
1. I love you and I always will.
2. I’m here for you no matter what.
3. I have confidence in you.
4. I wouldn’t change anything about you.
5. I’m so glad God put you in our family!
6. I’m sorry; please forgive me.
7. Yes…..I will play that game with you or go ________with you, etc.
8. I love watching you play (basketball, the piano, etc.)
9. It’s okay — mistakes happen.
10. You are precious to God.
Make sure your kids hear these things often, so they will have no doubt in their minds that you love them unconditionally just the way they are!
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30 WORDS OF AFFIRMATION EVERY CHILD NEEDS TO HEAR!
7 Responses
Aw, this was a very nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to create a very
good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and don’t
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You’re so welcome! Glad it helped. 🙂
Thank you, Kathie. Great explanation. I was really struggling with that. Now I’m reminded why I do the work I do with him (it’s always good to be reminded of why), and have a fresh vision of sharing that with him, along with helping him see those great traits God has put w/in him. Thanks!
Hi Nathy! I’m so glad to hear that the blog is helpful to you, and has encouraged you to keep a Biblical perspective in your homeschool. Stay
encouraged!
Hello,
I want to thank you for this blog. It helps me a lot to understand how to do school at home in a biblical perspective.
I am in France and the school at home is not very developed by the Christians, and there is no biblical support for school at home so everything remains to be done.
Thank you very much for this help.
God bless you .
Hi Rebecca! You are right that we definitely need to work to change our child’s sinful character to Godly character, which requires consistent training. I mean more that we wouldn’t change how God made that child — their physical and emotional – their personality. That difficult child was created to be a leader, and we love that, but we need to train the character so he will have self-control, compassion, etc. Steer that strong will in the right direction,and love the feisty part of him that will take him places. (But keep training him to keep it under control.) 🙂
“4. I wouldn’t change ANYTHING about you.”
Um, that’s not true. What is all our training about if not changing them? I’m trying to change him from lazy to diligent. From selfish to others-ish. From rude to respectful. My difficult child who needs constant training and correction would call me a bold-faced liar if I said that to him. Can you explain further what you mean?