I’m not proud of it, but yes, there was a time when I said I couldn’t trust God! But, being the loving God He is, He went on to prove to me that He COULD be trusted.
You see, at the time, my husband and I lived in a too-small house. It had one bathroom, and we had eight children. We really needed to move but we had no money. On top of that, the house we were living in required quite a bit of work before it could be sold.
But my husband kept praying. He prayed telling God that if He wanted us to move, He was going to have to do it for us.
And guess what?
That’s when God stepped in.
That Time I Said I Couldn’t Trust God
My neighbor informed us that he had just heard the news that all of the houses in our area were being bought out by the city, to expand the Jeep factory around the corner from us. So we were being forced to move but were concerned about how this was going to work financially.
People didn’t give us much hope as to what we’d get for the house. So we decided we should pay all we could on our mortgage, to be ahead for the new house. So we began to very seriously start saving as much money as we could.
That’s when it happened.
My husband came home from a deacon’s meeting at church one evening. He said there was a need at the church, and he wanted to know what I thought about giving a rather large sum of money to help with the need. This was a gesture of faith, meaning most of what we had managed to save to pay off our home would go to this need.
I looked at him, and began to list the reasons we couldn’t do that – we needed to save for the move, down payment on a new house, etc. He then in turn asked me, “Do you think we can give this money? Can we trust God to provide?”
Can you trust God and still be scared?
I hedged and protested, and he said very directly, “Kathie, I’m asking you – do you think we can trust God?”
Being the spiritual person I am, I blurted out, “I can’t!” (I hope you read my sarcasm here!) The words hadn’t been out of my mouth for too long before I began to feel convicted. I KNEW I could trust God. He had proven Himself over and over to us. Long story short, the next day, I told my husband that it was okay and that we should give the money, and trust God. Then the most exciting things started to happen! God began to prove Himself over and over again and in BIG ways!
Recognizing God’s Hand In Difficult Times
Here are just a few ways God showed up when my faith was weak. When I thought we had blown it by giving away all of the money, look what He did!
1. We were gifted about 3 months’ worth of cereal out of the blue. (With 8 kids, that’s a LOT of cereal)
2. We were gifted enough frozen food to fill our full-size freezer.
3. Someone gave my husband money for a new suit.
4. Someone gave us new bunk beds and a dining room table for when we moved.
5. We were given a computer.
6. When the city came to us with their first offer on our house, it was better than we expected, but we were advised to hold off and see if they’d come up with a better offer.
God Provides Financially At Times
When they came back with their second offer, they appraised the house at $9,000 more than the first time. They also added $5,400 more for relocation expenses and added another $450 to the moving expense. The final topper was when they said they would give us another $10,000 because of having to relocate my home business.
All totaled, this came to $24,850 more than the first offer!!!
This along with the original offer came to quite a bit more than we had even paid for the house, AND we didn’t have to put thousands of dollars into fixing it. Now we didn’t have to put it on the market. We didn’t have to deal with the stress of showings, and there were no real estate agent’s fees. So it ended up that we got way more than we ever could have sold the house for, and were able to get a much nicer, bigger house than we ever would have been able to afford. (and we went from ONE bathroom for 10 people, to FOUR bathrooms!)
God REALLY did prove Himself to my doubting heart! What a testimony of His faithfulness this was to my children also.
Trust That God Is Good
But God wasn’t done blessing us just yet! While waiting to settle with the city, we looked at a lot of houses. There was one that we looked at early on. But weren’t sure yet, so we kept looking. We came back to look at it a month later, decided that was the one we really wanted. And guess what? The price of it had been reduced by $5,000 from what it was the first time we looked at it!
God tells us to prove Him, and trust Him.
When we did that, He proved himself beyond doubt. The city paid all closing costs on both homes, inspection on our new home, the lawyer’s fees, and points. Our income level wasn’t real high, we had eight children, and the house we lived in was not in a very good neighborhood.
But because we were willing to trust God and give when there was a need, we were blessed with a beautiful house. Plus it was in a smaller city, in a subdivision where we feel safe walking, riding bikes and so much more! God blessed us with even the small things that were important to us. The yard was really big, fully fenced, and had a beautiful swing set for the kids.
And to think that I doubted Him!!
Learn From That Time I Said I Couldn’t Trust God
If you find yourself saying “I can’t trust God”, be encouraged by the truth that God is faithful and worthy of your trust.