How do we keep that relationship alive? The secrets to a strong marriage are things I’ve learned over my long marriage to my husband. It’s not always been easy, and it’s always a learning process. But there are a few takeaways I’d like to share with you today that will hopefully help you find a friendship with your husband, which is one of the most important keys!
There are many factors that can contribute to the success or failure of a marriage. A happy marriage is one of the most important things in life. We all want to find a partner we can share our lives with. But what are the key ingredients for a successful marriage?
Marriage is something that takes work and commitment, but it’s worth it in the end because it’s a Godly union between two people who love each other very much and want to spend the rest of their lives together. This post will explore some of the most important things that build a strong, divorce-proof marriage.
My husband and I attended our church Valentines Banquet on Tuesday night, and were challenged by the simple, yet profound thought that was shared. The speaker began by teasing about how couples act when they first “fall in love”.
All the mushy stuff, staring into each other’s eyes, the sweet nothings being whispered and said continuously, etc.
He then shared how as a Pastor, he hears often of couples who started out this way, but their marriage went sour.
The truth he shared that he believes is the way to prevent your marriage from going sour is that you need to be not just lovers, but friends. Many times couples fall in love and get married. They have kids and pour themselves into their kids. Mom runs the kids here and there, while Dad works. Many times they are going in opposite directions because of the kids.
They are so busy pouring everything into the children and their needs, that they quit doing things together.
They lose that enjoyment of sharing fun times with each other, sharing their thoughts, and what is important to them, because they are preoccupied with going in their own direction. Then the kids grow up and leave, and they are strangers.
The friendship is no longer there.
They may still be lovers, but that has grown cold, because they don’t have that friendship like when they first started dating. There’s no emotional unity, to create the desire for physical unity, and when the friendship part of the relationship fades, the lover part slowly does also.
Then one spouse or the other, finds someone who they enjoy being with, who shares some of their interests, spends time listening to them and talking to them. (often someone from their work) They become attached as friends, and often that develops into an extra-marital affair.
The need for friendship that was lacking in the marriage got filled somewhere else.
This is something I’ve heard before and heard often: the kids won’t always be there, so keep the relationship with your spouse strong. However, this idea tonight just kind of put it in practical terms. Continue doing things WITH your spouse that he/she enjoys. Don’t just feel it’s okay to give a card and gift on Valentines Day that says “I love you”, gifts for Christmas, and birthdays, but never spend time keeping that friendship strong.
Can a marriage survive without friendship? Possibly, but imagine how lonely that would be! If you are married, it is important to make time for your spouse and plan weekly dates together. These don’t have to cost money – it can just be playing games together.
It’s not easy to maintain a healthy friendship with your spouse when you are constantly busy with work and family obligations. But the truth is that the most important thing for a happy marriage is to stay friends.
A happy marriage is the foundation of a happy family. It’s not just about romance, it’s about friendship too. If you have someone to share your life with, you will have someone to share your joys and sorrows with.
People who are married for 50 years or more often say that their marriages were built on friendship before anything else. There are many secrets to a happy marriage, but one thing that we know is that it takes effort from both partners. So don’t forget to make friendship a priority.
Keep listening and talking to each other. That’s what friends do – they share all that’s on their heart and mind.
Marriage is a union of two people that are committed to each other for life. It is important to understand and keep listening to your partner’s needs and wants in order to maintain a happy marriage.
In order for a marriage to be successful, it is important for both partners to communicate with each other about their feelings and thoughts. This helps the partners understand each other better and also know what they need in order to make their relationship work.
It is also important for couples not only talk but listen as well. This will help them get closer together and understand what the other person needs in order to feel loved, appreciated, respected, or cared about.
That opens a door you don’t want to open! Also, don’t listen to someone of the opposite gender tell you about their marriage problems. They will find you sympathetic and interested, and an attachment will begin to develop. Guard your heart! Lasting marriage is built on trust.
We all have secrets, and it is important to keep them that way. We do not want to share our marital problems with someone of the opposite gender, because then we open a door that we don’t want to go through.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends with people of the opposite gender. It just means that you should be careful about what you share with them and how much time you spend with them.
A happy marriage is built on a foundation of friendship, honesty and trust.
The Bible warns us: “Let him who thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall.”
When we become too confident, we let our guard down. We need to ask God daily to protect our marriage, and to keep us faithful!
Marriage can be difficult to maintain because we are human, and we are not perfect. But just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. And God’s grace can turn trials into something beautiful on the other side.
We make mistakes, we get angry, and sometimes we feel unheard. However, allowing these feelings to fester too often or for too long, can make our marriage become vulnerable to divorce, separation or even an affair. So make sure you don’t get too relaxed in thinking that it can’t possibly ever happen to you. Most divorced people would say they never thought it would happen to them, either.
In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to forget that marriage is a sacred bond. The key to a strong marriage is not just romance but nurturing the relationship and making your spouse your best friend.
What builds a strong marriage?
It’s not just about being romantic. It’s about nurturing the relationship and making your spouse your best friend. It takes time, effort, dedication, thoughtfulness, and love. But in the end, a healthy relationship is God-honoring, and a wonderful way to enjoy all of the blessings God gave you, as you live life together.
2 Responses
I think one thing that has really helped Jamie and I to avoid some of these problems is that we stay close to home. Our kids are homeschooled and I am not involved in outside responsibilities like church ministry or employment. We are always available when he has time for us, rather than us all having to try and get our schedules to mesh. We’ve always put our kids to bed by 6:30 so we can spend the evening together and we’ve never had tv to distract us. Now that we have some older kids, they go downstairs for free time and then quiet reading time at the same time that the little ones go to bed so we still get that time together. We’ve been married 15 years and I just can’t imagine growing apart. It seems we’ve gotten closer every year. So thankful for that!!
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Wow – so true – ” They are so busy pouring everything into the children and their needs, that they quit doing things together. ”
Our kids are grown now, and we’re back to the honeymoon stage of just the two of us. It’s fun now because we DID spend time nurturing our relationship through the kid-years.
Thanks for sharing your experience at the Valentines Banquet!